Gay London Life | Aug '25 Edition - Magazine - Page 26
Your Matrimony Moans — Answered!
Never seen in the same room together, Martin Fox-Roberts and Maria Hurtz
from Proud Fox Ceremonies share this page to tackle your wedding woes and worries!
Hi, lovely people, I’m Martin — a wedding
And I’m Maria Hurtz — Martin’s
celebrant who’s seen everything from
much taller, louder, and infinitely
barefoot beach elopements to last-
more moisturised alter-ego and
minute bouquet brawls. I’m here to give
the UK’s first certified Drag Queen
you heartfelt, practical advice to help
Wedding Celebrant who will
you glide down the aisle without losing
#DragYouUpTheAisle. I’m here to tell
your sanity or your future mother-in-law
you the truth you need to hear, even if it’s
wearing six-inch heels and a glittered fan.
Dear Martin, we’re two men getting married in a small town that isn’t
Honey, if your fiancé is acting like an ass at their own wedding, or your bestie
exactly rainbow-flag-friendly. Should we keep the ceremony low-key or be
is stealing your spotlight, Auntie Maria has thoughts. Loud thoughts.
loud and proud? Magnus & Sam, Ladbroke Grove
First, your love is not a protest — but it can be a celebration of courage. You must
Dear Maria, My fiancé wants our first dance to be “Wrecking Ball” by
feel safe, first and foremost. But do not shrink yourselves to fit small minds. A
Miley Cyrus. I’m more of a Beyoncé ballad type. How do I convince him
loving, dignified ceremony surrounded by people who support you will always
this is NOT a romantic moment for demolition metaphors? John, East Ham
speak volumes — even without confetti cannons.
Darling, unless you’re swinging in naked on an actual wrecking ball, this
♥
may be more iconic than romantic. Compromise is the secret sauce of
I’m trans and worried about deadnaming during the speeches. My family
marriage — may I suggest a mash-up? Let Miley crash in with her dramatic
struggles with using my correct name. How do I handle this without dread
energy mid-way through a slow Beyoncé classic. It says: “We’re glam,
on my big day? Alesha, Wapping
we’re deep, and we have range.”
You deserve a wedding where your identity is celebrated, not misrepresented.
♥
Speak with anyone giving a toast beforehand. Be clear, be firm. If you’re worried,
My dog is my ring bearer. My partner says it’s “gimmicky.” Am I barking
ask a trusted friend or your celebrant (hello!) to gently remind guests of your
up the wrong aisle? Rachael, Southwark
name and pronouns early in the ceremony. Consider a ‘toast coach’ or speech
Darling, if the dog doesn’t eat the rings or hump a bridesmaid, it’s a win. Animals
review. It’s your day, and your truth must be honoured.
at weddings are adorable — and deeply on brand for gay joy. Just do a trial run
♥
(preferably without squirrels present). And yes, you may put a bowtie on him.
♥
We want to write our own vows, but my partner isn’t very expressive. I’m
scared theirs will feel flat or short next to mine. Ricardo, Barnes
My partner wants a cake made entirely of cheese. Like, literal wheels of
Vows aren’t a competition — they’re a promise. Let them express love in their
brie and cheddar. Are we monsters? Tony, Shenfield
own voice. If they’re not poetic, they might be practical, grounding, or sweetly
You are delicious monsters. And I’m here for it. A cheese ‘cake’ stacked high
awkward — and that’s beautiful. Encourage them to be honest, not elaborate.
is très chic for foodies — especially with wine pairings. Just give guests
The heart matters more than the adjectives.
a heads-up if there won’t be a traditional dessert. And maybe warn Aunt
♥
Barbara. She might think you forgot to order dessert altogether.
♥
My mother says she won’t come to my wedding unless I invite my
homophobic uncle “because family matters.” Do I fold or hold firm? J
We’re thinking of having an entrance song, but both want to walk down
ames, Finsbury Park
the aisle. How do we make it epic without upstaging each other?
You are building a chosen family with your partner. Anyone who doesn’t respect
Leon, Sutton
your marriage has no place at your table — blood or not. Boundaries are loving,
Darling, this is a dual runway moment. Two entrances. Two songs. Think:
not cruel. Tell your mother: “I want peace and joy at our wedding. If Uncle can’t
“Versace Versus Versace.” Or meet in the middle — literally. One walks from the
support us, he’s not welcome.” Be clear. And breathe. You are not responsible
left, one from the right. You both get your spotlight and the symbolism as well.
♥
for her reactions.
♥
Auntie Maria, my friend offered to sing at our wedding. She’s lovely, but
We want our legal marriage and our celebrant-led wedding ceremony on
tone-deaf. Do we let her do it anyway to be polite? Bradley, Chatham
the same day, but the registrars are telling us that we have to have their
Oh no, darling. This is a wedding, not a charity fundraiser for wounded
ceremony and the celebrant can do a reading after. This is not what we
karaoke stars. Give her a special role without a microphone — like leading
want our day to be like. What do we do? We have to have the legal part, but
the confetti toss or managing the guestbook. She’ll feel honoured, and your
we want the celebrant-led part to be the main event. Help! Jo, Mile End
guests’ ears will live to hear another day.
Ah, yes! It’s good that you understand the difference between a marriage and
a wedding. Some registrars are extremely
good and will work with your celebrant, so
you have the perfect day planned. However,
there are a few registrars who do tell blatant
lies to couples, so they buy their full package.
The proceedings with the registrars must
be separate from your wedding ceremony
(except in Scotland). Although you can do
a simple ceremony with the registrars and
once they leave, you can continue with your
wedding ceremony. If in doubt, speak to your
celebrant first.
26
Get in touch with Martin and Maria at
proudfoxceremonies.com
