Gay London Life | Aug '25 Edition - Magazine - Page 46
Photo by @jo.xoartistry
Topher
Talks
GLL’s blonde
bombshell
mourns the
Prince of
Darkness and
pays tribute to
the inclusivity of
the alternative
scene
Metallica, TOOL, Meshuggah, Ozzy,
through magazines and records. No
Black Sabbath, to name a few. You
side-eyes and no slurs.
could hear their music blasting
That was the first moment I felt
from his room or hear him violently
I might belong somewhere. The
practising his drum kits to their
kindest, most accepting people I
haunting hits. Through him, I was
met weren’t the ones at Pride waving
introduced to metal — and Ozzy,
rainbow flags or the dancing guys
especially.
in G-A-Y. They were the pierced,
Then came The Osbournes TV
the tattooed, the eyeliner-smudged
Show. It was stratospheric. Ozzy
goths, punks, and metalheads in Cro
wasn’t just a name on a CD anymore,
Bar, the Intrepid Fox, the 12 Bar. The
or the man who bit the head off a
weirdos. Like me.
bat — he was a pop culture icon
Alternative people are often
and household name. Even the kids
accepting because they (for the
at school who’d never heard Black
most part) know what it’s like to be
Sabbath were quoting him. But I felt
an outcast. Rock, metal, goth, punk
like I’d known him first.
— these are magnets for the lonely,
This surge in his visibility and the
the excluded, the kids who never fit
glamorised chaos of the alternative
in. That energy and life experience
lifestyle hooked me. I didn’t want
create stunning music, bold fashion,
to, or have the musical talents to
and (usually) a left-leaning worldview.
be a rock star, but I wanted a slice
I felt safe around it – and I still do.
Like millions around the world, the
spot for alternative people, and Ozzy,
of that energy — to feel part of
news of Ozzy Osbourne’s death
through his chaos, charisma, and
something bigger, weirder, louder.
second home in my 20s and I’d end
at the end of July hit me hard. I was
authenticity, was an icon to me. I avidly
To be around alternative people.
up there every night. It had that same
sitting in a restaurant on Frith Street
watched The Osbournes, absorbed
My brother’s trips to Soho to record
magic I first felt in the studios. You
when my friend broke the news, and I
all his historical lore, and idolised him
and practice in studios seemed the
could be anything there: a mess,
lost my appetite.
for all the reasons many of the public
perfect entry point.
poetic, ugly, sexy, strange. I’d always
As a gay boy born in 1989, I grew
up on the edge of the music video era,
had dismissed him.
While I grew up loving Madonna,
Cro Bar in Soho became my
So, in 2003, aged 12 or 13, I
be making out with beautiful ‘straight’
begged him to take me along to
men. Its atmosphere was special, and
part of the MTV generation, and the
Tina Turner, and Bowie, my older
his band practice in Soho, to the
I still mourn its loss. The only queer
birth of reality TV. I’d always had a soft
brother was into much heavier stuff.
notorious (and now demolished,
venue in London that hosted this
fuck you Crossrail) Denmark
type of energy was The Black Cap
Street, also known as Tin Pan Alley.
in Camden, which is now also gone.
Enterprise Studios was tucked
Poor London.
away on an alleyway behind the
When I started properly mixing
now-gone 12 Bar. The moment I
with people, it wasn’t the queer
stepped inside, I was immediately
scene that first embraced me. It was
intimidated and spellbound.
the alternative scene. The people
The studio reeked of history
who made space for me weren’t on
and ‘if these walls could talk’ vibes.
Old Compton Street — they were
Guitars on the walls. Flyers, gig
headbanging to Slayer. And they
posters, drumsticks, old rock
changed everything. It sounds corny,
magazines. Guys in bands hanging
but it’s true.
out, writing and editing lyrics,
So, when I heard about Ozzy’s
waiting for their turn. They had
death, it didn’t just feel like the loss
ripped biceps, tattoos, piercings,
of a heavy metal legend. It felt like a
and the best haircuts I’d ever
crack in my own origin story. Ozzy
seen. As a little blonde Catholic
wasn’t just the Prince of Darkness
schoolboy, I was overwhelmed,
to me; he was the very unlikely
but also fascinated. To this day, I’ll
gatekeeper to a world where I was
say it: alternative men are the best
finally allowed to belong. Through
dressed. Fight me. And they never
my brother’s influence and Ozzy’s
quite know how beautiful they are.
influence, I stepped into a subculture
The smell, the vibe, the muffled
that showed me kindness and
sound of basslines thundering out
warmth before anyone else did.
from soundproofed rooms made it a
I’m grateful to my brother for
sensory and formative experience for
being brave enough to be alternative
me. But the biggest surprise? They
— and to Ozzy for, well, being Ozzy.
were fucking nice to me. Teenage
Thank you for the chaos. Thank you
boys had never really been kind to
for the kindness. You helped a little
me. I’d grown used to being ignored or
gay boy feel less alone in the world.
mocked for being effeminate-looking.
Long live the weirdos.
But here, I was welcomed, and while
my brother practised, they let me flick
46
@tophertaylor
