Gay London Life | July Pride '26 Edition - Magazine - Page 76
Topher Taylor
Topher
Talks
I’m writing this column on June
strict Roman Catholic school didn’t
22nd, 2026. This morning, Keir
encourage it either. The only crash
Starmer announced he is resigning
course I’d had was when Stephen
- yet another example of a deeply
Lawrence was murdered outside
disappointing and spineless
my front door, and my parents had,
government official who really
over the years, drip-fed me the
stands for nothing. The king of
harsh reality of racism and how it led
soulless flip-flopping. Someone
to his killing. That planted a seed:
who could’ve really made a change
the version of me who wants to fix
and tried to fix the world - but
the world, who gets so frustrated at
chose not to.
injustice I feel physically ill. It also
The sun is out, marking the
planted the seed of the loudmouth
start of a heatwave. As I type this,
on social media. All of which can
my cat (Rio) is rolling around my
be a good thing at times, but also a
courtyard, staring up at the birds,
hindrance.
and desperately hunting flies. Now
I became obsessed with
and then, he glances up with those
the world. Everything felt so
big green eyes, reminding me why
progressive. I had so much to catch
I adore him. Speaking of adoration,
up on, so much to do. I was spinning
the most beautiful man in the world
plates and making plans. I was going
texted me “I adore you” yesterday
to take over the fucking world. I was
- and how lovely is that? Men don’t
going to be somebody.
really speak like that anymore. I
And then, cut to 2026, where
am lucky. He is kind, and his pecs
the world feels like a dystopian
bounce when he moves. I am lucky.
nightmare of injustice and power
And notably, yesterday (June
hoarded by some of the most
21st) was my 37th birthday - my
disgusting examples of humanity
“scary age” if you read my previous
that even horror authors couldn’t
column - and it gave me plenty of
dream up. Elon Musk spends all
time to reflect. Social media has its
day on Twitter provoking the far
toxicity, no question. But I’d be lying
right and playing victim. Jeff Bezos
if I said there weren’t some fabulous
has allegedly floated giving AI data
bits, particularly the way it archives
centres priority access to water
your history. The things you used
over actual humans. I try to work out
to say and the way you used to
where it all went wrong since 2009,
think. And in some cases, your old
or whether it was so insidious I just
hairstyles. Yikes.
missed it. Have I been that blind?
So, I opened my Facebook
memories - every June 21st I’ve
had, stacked up since 2007. There’s
After all the work I’d done to educate
myself out of my bubble?
Some mornings, I wish I’d never
plenty to look back on - I’ve always
left that bubble and that I’d stayed
been a chronically oversharing
the Eltham boy who didn’t yet know
loudmouth. There’s usually at least
what the world was capable of.
one post for every day of the year -
Ignorance can be bliss. But then
and yes, really. In 2009, there was
I see Facebook memories, and
a post from me freaking out about
there he is: that hopeful 20-year-
turning 20. TWENTY! And I vividly
old, certain the future would be
remember typing that exact status
extraordinary. And I realise the hope
into my BlackBerry behind the till at
didn’t die - it just got buried under 17
Simply Pleasure in Soho.
years of bad news.
The future felt so exciting back
So no, I wasn’t blind. I was
in 2009. I’d got the job I wanted in a
hopeful. I’d rather be a loudmouth
sex shop, quickly discovered that
who cares too much than a lump
intimacy and sexuality were “the”
who stands for nothing. Maybe
topics for me, and knew this was
that’s the gift of all this oversharing:
where I’d build a career. I was young,
it shows me who I was and reminds
single, coming to understand my
me who I’d still like to be.
sexuality, and learning about social
The sun’s out, Rio’s still
issues and politics for the first time
chasing flies he’ll never catch,
- a real revelation. I’d grown up in
and that hopeful boy is still in here
a bubble, in Eltham in the 90s and
somewhere - certain it’ll all be worth
early 2000s. We didn’t learn about
it. I think I’ll choose to believe him.
slavery, colonialism, other religions,
or cultures outside our own - and my
76
@tophertaylor
